May 21, 2012

The Balancing Act of Life and Work

~ found this beautiful song thanks to my friend Clara ~

I am having a busy time again. Okay, I actually always have, but during the past weeks, I have felt stuck. Some of you know that I plan to finish my studies until the end of the year, and given all the exams I still have to take, it is gradually getting tight when I calculate back from November until now. I have the wish to move on, but instead, I am drowned in a ton of other stuff, such as correcting my thesis, sitting in the lab and running studies for my student research assistant job, and teaching statistics tutorials and piano lessons. All of this leaves me rather little time to get to my own things, and sometimes I am too tired in the evening to play the piano, update my blog, or do some reading for myself. I feel braked and somewhat frustrated.

~ lab lunch, nicely arranged on study materials  ~

These past days, I have been on the edge of a migraine constantly: I used to wake up and feet as if somebody had hit my head with a hammer, and I was nauseous, shaky, and very sensitive towards stimulation all day. My music player and my sun glasses have been my best friends whenever I left the house, to keep the noises and brightness at bay.

Feeling migrainy is my body’s main signal to tell me to slow down. Since I have a strong inclination towards perfectionism, and have already suffered from chronic exhaustion very badly a few years ago, I know I have to be careful in this regard. I have to stop myself before I can only crawl on my torso and have to use my chin to drag me forward, because I cannot move my arms and legs anymore. Of course, most of the stress that lasts on my shoulders is actually psychological, and feeling like running on a treadmill that keeps moving under my feet without getting me anywhere plays a major role in this.

In the meantime, time is passing by, and life goes on. The elder tree next to my door is getting bigger and bigger, and the vine tendrils have grown a shadowy roof of leaves.

Also, my old friends, the dandelions, have been rearing their heads again, singing “lalala” at me whenever I leave the house. I wanted to dig them out for weeks, but did not find the time or energy to do it.

~ “lalala, Kath!” ~

I am trying to find a balance again. I know I have to focus on myself, on my own things, to say “no” and “stop” and “this is good enough already”. These probably have to be my magic words in finding a balance.

But none of them comes easily to me. “No” is hard particularly when I feel somebody needs my support for something, or wants me to join in some activity that would be fun but eat up time I actually need for my own things. I just hate to disappoint others and leave them in the lurch, but when I give in, I often end up being angry with myself for not having looked after myself better. “Stop” is difficult when I do something I enjoy and would love to go on forever and ultimately sacrifice my sleep for it, or when I work and feel I could just do a little more because I still have a little energy left (which is the amount of energy I actually need to efficiently relax afterwards). “Good enough” is challenging for somebody like me, who always wants to get the best out of herself, because there is always room for improvement, regardless of how much I have done already.

~ I wonder what the ant is planning to do with this dandelion fluff fairy … ~

But I cannot help it. If I do not learn to say “no”, “stop”, and “good enough” to myself and others, I will end up being unhappy and stuck forever, and too exhausted to get out of the misery again. Apparently, this is a life lesson I have to learn, so I will learn it. I will be a little more protective of my own time, space, and energy, and have an eye on my own happiness and well-being more often. As a first step, I have decided to take my next exam in June, and I already feel better now that I know things are finally moving on again. I will not do much more editing on my thesis but just submit it after I have taken the exam, because it is already good as it is now. I will not work more than I have to in a month, because I also need time and energy for my own things.

And instead of spending my Sunday at my desk, I went outside with my pruner and shovel, cut back the elder tree, and dug out some dandelions.

Which are your magic words in finding a balance?

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Filed under Kath's Stuff, Lalala, The Art of Living Well

May 13, 2012

A Very Gradual Development of a Love of Coconut

For a long time, I have despised to have anything coconutty in my dishes. I did not like the flavor in savory meals, and coconut milk in particular made me feel sick. But when I learned about my casein allergy, I felt a need for dietary options to replace dairy products. Almond milk became my favorite substitute for milk and still is, after having tried other nut milks (hazelnut, walnut, sesame …) which I found too bitter for my tea. And then, there was the coconut.

~ I actually already like it because it has a face ~

For a long time, I did not do anything to approach the coconut, but since I have started blogging, I frequently stumbled across recipes involving coconut, which actually looked good to me. I wondered whether I could learn to like coconut, such as I have learned to like cilantro. And when I read more about the health benefits of coconut, I decided to give it a try, and included coconut oil into my diet. This worked remarkably well, and now it is my favorite cooking fat next to ghee.

But there was still the coconut milk … And this one did not come to me so easily. Everytime I tried coconut milk, I felt really nauseous afterwards. The change came when I tried this wonderful pumpkin and coconut soup after my last piano recital at my teacher’s home, which his wife had contributed to the buffet. It was incredibly good, and lacked the obtrusive coconut flavor which had bothered me everytime I had cooked with coconut milk myself.

The second happy encounter occurred when I was invited for a vegan dinner by two friends, and was served a wonderful red lentil and spinach curry with coconut milk.

This was also the occasion on which I learned what I was doing wrong, because we were standing in the kitchen and talked while my friend prepared the dinner, and I saw that she used just half of a can (a little less than one cup) for four or five servings of lentil curry. This gave me to think, because I had always poured the same amount into a single serving dish. Lalala. So then, it dawned on me that my problem with coconut milk was that I simply had used too much of it. Coconut milk is high in fat (about 20 g per 100 ml), and I had used it like milk, but it is rather like cream – no wonder it made me feel sick. Most people would after downing a cup of cream, no?

So, coconut milk has become a resident in my kitchen now. However, as walking below coconut palms is potentially dangerous because a coconut may fall upon your hand, puttering around with cans of coconut milk in your kitchen is as well because you may drop one onto your foot. This happened to me recently, and the result was not nice.

Imagine a weight of almost a pound, a dropping height at chest level, and a nice landing on the edge. The pain as well as the purple color of my foot were quite impressive (and still are). At least my toe is not broken, because I can move it, and the pain is getting a little better. I hope I can walk in my shoes again soon.

And while my foot is recovering, my Smileys have taken over the kitchen. This is what happens when you are temporarily disabled and cannot look so well after your Smileys.

At least, they help me with the cooking, although the process is much more chaotic than usual, and involves tears, temper tantrums, and neverending screaming and shrieking. Ah well. But they can cook, after all. And they made this lovely soup with tomatoes and shrimp for you.

HERBED TOMATO COCONUT SOUP WITH SHRIMP

 4 servings

Ingredients

  • 1 kg (2 lbs) tomatoes
  • butter or oil
  • 4 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely chopped
  • 500 ml (2 cups) water
  • 500 g (1 lb) shrimp (I used frozen)
  • 200 ml (4/5 cup) coconut milk
  • 1/4 tsp ground ginger root
  • 1/4 tsp ground galangal root
  • 1/2 tsp ground coriander seeds
  • 1/2 tsp ground paprika
  • 1 pinch of ground nutmeg
  • 1 pinch of ground cloves
  • 1/2 tsp dried chili flakes
  • 1-2 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1/2 tbsp dried cilantro
  • 1/2 tbsp dried lovage
  • 2 tsbp fresh parsley, chopped

Directions

Put the tomatoes into a big bowl and cover them with hot water. After a couple of minutes, the skins will loosen so you can pull them off. (Probably you have to toss the water and do another infusion with hot water.) Chop the skinned tomatoes.

In a large pot, heat a little fat and roast the garlic until fragrant. Add water and tomatoes and bring everything to a boil. Add the shrimp, coconut milk, and all spices and dried herbs. Cook the soup covered at medium heat for about 10 minutes, then remove the lid and cook it openly for some more time to thicken, until it reaches the desired consistency. Stir in the parsley, serve, and enjoy.

Is there a food you had a hard time with until you liked it? Is there something you really want to like, but it is not so easy for you? What about coconut milk and you?

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May 10, 2012

Friendship and Pinot Blanc

Every now and then, I have wine tastings with friends. The idea was born from the fact that we like to drink wine but know too little about it. Due to all of us being busy at various times, we did not manage to meet for a wine tasting for several weeks, but last night, we finally got around it again!

Basically, there are two approaches we considered to follow. The first one is to taste wines from one grape variety across several growing areas. The second one is to taste wines from different grape varieties coming from one area. We have done both so far, but since we are not sufficiently accomplished with the characteristics of the different grape varieties yet, we decided to follow the first approach from now on, before we move on to regions and blends of grape varieties.

Before we start tasting the wines, we like to read a little about the characteristics of the grape in my friend’s wine encyclopedia, and then the fun begins, including scenting, moving the wine in the glass, and trying to identify different flavors.

The last evening was devoted to the Pinot blanc, which is one of my favorite grapes because it yields fresh, flavorful wines with decent acidity. I like to order it when I have drinks with friends at a bar (and find it on the menu), and was never disappointed so far. Yet it was amazing how different the four Pinot blancs tasted which we tried the other night, particularly since we had two from the same region, and still they were both very peculiar. We tasted lime in the first wine, pear, grape, and lychee in the second one, apple in the third one, and cherry and raspberry in the fourth one. Overall, I can say there was no wine I did not like, however I had preferences for number three and four.

And as always, the tasting was intertwined with a lot of talking about all kinds of things – what is currently going on and being on our minds, thoughts and ideas about friendship and relationships, the future, what we are growing on as persons. It was delightful in every regard.

Do you have wine tastings with friends?

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May 4, 2012

Squid in Fragrant Tomato Sauce

During the vacation in Venice, my already existent love for squid deepened quite a bit. I indulged in this wonderful seafood several times (however, I could not at all keep up with my friend who ordered fried calamari with every meal we had at a restaurant, so twice a day), and when I came back to Heidelberg, I frequented my favorite Asian food store on my way home, to get a big bag of frozen squid before the shop closed. I love the taste and somewhat gummy texture of squid – so fun to chew on  - as well as its versatility of being suitable for a wide range of dishes and flavoring styles: Mediterranean, Asian, or just fragrant and spicy. Since fragrant and spicy is always nice, I went for that option with this dish.

If you want to make a vegan version of this, I think replacing the squid with tofu would work perfectly well. You know, tofu happily absorbs all kinds of flavors you add to it, and since this recipe is totally about the flavors (as, um, quite often with my recipes ), I am sure it would taste good as well. You would just miss a little chewiness, but probably you are no fan of chewiness anyway, so there.

I went for a somewhat exotic combination of spices: garlic, ginger, galangal, cloves, coriander, dried lemon leaves, star anise, tarragon, and basil. So you see, nothing you might usually combine when you go for a particular cuisine. But I like to widen boundaries, and the result tasted very good.

SQUID IN FRAGRANT TOMATO SAUCE

 3-4 servings

Ingredients

  • butter or oil
  • 4 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely chopped
  • 1 tsp fresh ginger root, peeled and finely chopped
  • 500 g (1 lb) small squids, rinsed
  • 1 kg (2 lbs) fresh (or canned) tomatoes, chopped
  • 1/4 tsp ground galangal root
  • 1 pinch of ground cloves
  • 1/4 tsp ground coriander seeds
  • 1 handful of dried lemon leaves
  • 4 star anise
  • 1 tbsp dried tarragon
  • 1 tbsp dried basil
  • salt to taste
  • pepper to taste

Directions

Heat some fat in a large pot or a deep pan. Roast the garlic and ginger until slightly brown, then add the squid and roast from all sides. Add the chopped tomatoes and all herbs and spices except salt and pepper. Stew covered for about 20 minutes. Finally, add salt and pepper to taste, then serve and enjoy. Depending on your preferences, steamed broccoli, a mixed salad, brown rice, or pasta would be nice as sides.

Do you like squid? If yes, how do you like to make it?

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May 1, 2012

Venice with the Family

Some of you already know that I spent the past weekend in Venice. I went there with my dear friend Cel, and we were blissful to reunite there with our friend Liz who currently lives in New York City, and also to meet her mom.

This was my first trip abroad in five years, and when we first planned the trip, I was a little nervous because I have made nothing but bad travel experiences in the past 15 years. Although I like to travel, I felt unwell constantly on all my travels due to my food allergies, of which I did not know by that time. Eating out or on the go a lot brought me the worst allergy symptoms, so I was bloated and hungry all the time and so fatigued that I could hardly walk, and just looked forward to getting back home.

~ the three musketeers in Venice ~ 

This trip was different, though. In fact, it was wonderful from the first to the last minute. I went with two of my closest friends, we all know each other well, appreciate each other, and respect each others’ individual needs and wishes. These lovely people are my family by choice. I also knew how to choose my foods this time, and it went surprisingly well. I felt happy and fine all the time.

Some pictures of me in Venice …

We saw a lot in those three days, and I certainly walked more than I would in two months otherwise. There are no cars in the city because of the many canals, and you have to cross bridges all the time, which also means a lot of steps. The city is a maze, and although we were equipped with maps, we got lost a couple of times. It was a wonderful adventure, and all the beauty around me filled my heart with joy.

~ San Marco’s Square ~

~ the Doge’s Palace ~

What did Kath eat in the land of pizza and pasta, without her blender to make almond milk in the morning? My breakfast usually consisted of almonds and cherry tomatoes or strawberries we bought at a food store near to our hostel. For lunch and dinner, we went to a restaurant. Eating out in Italy was surprisingly simple, because the restaurants usually offer a first course of pasta and a second course of meat or fish. I ordered a second course with a salad and grilled veggies, and indulged in the most wonderful fresh seafood.

~ mixed salad with tuna and shrimp ~

~ salad with tomtoes, shrimp, clams, and hardboiled egg ~

~ grilled squid with mixed salad and roasted veggies ~

~ grilled sea bass and seafood antipasti ~

~ more grilled squid  ~

Even at the airport on our way back I was happy to find a nice meal of roasted turkey, spinach, and zucchini.

Overall, it was a wonderful trip, filled with beautiful impressions, happy experiences, and inspiring conversations. It was just over much too fast!

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Filed under Eating Out, Family, Nice Eats, Photography, Traveling

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April 20, 2012

Beauty in the Garden

I am very happy because the talk I had in the research colloquium to present my diploma thesis project went so well. The day after my presentation I spent with joyful, work-unrelated activities: piano playing and teaching, meeting one of my closest friends, and taking pictures in the garden.

~ look who was exploring the dandelions! ~

~ all those lovely flower faces made me smile  ~

Today I am back to my thesis, and working in the corrections my supervisor has suggested. There is quite a lot of editing to do, and I have to shorten some parts rigorously, but I already anticipated that because my supervisor is very highbrow. That is actually why I did the project with him. I want the whole thing to be as good as it can be, and I am rather pain-free when it comes to reworking stuff nowadays, and do not get frustrated so easily anymore. In the end, I have learned so much, and that is what it is all about.

Have a happy day everybody!

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Filed under Lalala, Photography

April 17, 2012

A Big Bowl of Happiness

I enjoyed the most fabulous dinner today: a spicy salad from fresh cherry tomatoes and warm arugula with roasted chicken and onions, seasoned with cinnamon, ginger, and lots of chili.

I ate it from my new, big salad bowl while sitting in my rocking chair with my knees tucked up and the bowl stuck between my knees and my belly. Everything tastes better when eaten this way! 

This salad contained a lot of things I really, really like, and it offered a variety of flavors, textures, and temperatures due to the combination of savoriness, sweetness, and piquancy, crunchiness and chewiness, coolness and warmth. I am sure I will eat it again tomorrow as I have some leftover arugula and cherry tomatoes I can use. Nice alternatives for chicken would be sliced beef or pork, fish or shrimp, tofu, or hard-boild eggs, if you like those better.

CHERRY TOMATO AND ARUGULA SALAD WITH ROASTED CHICKEN AND ONIONS

 1 serving

Ingredients

  • butter or oil
  • 150 g (5 oz) chicken breast fillet, cut into pieces
  • 1 large red onion, peeled and cut into slices
  • 2 handfuls of arugula
  • 1/4 tsp dried chili flakes
  • 1/4 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 300 g (10 oz) cherry tomatoes, cut into halves
  • salt to taste
  • chili to taste

Directions

Heat some fat in a pan and roast the chicken for a couple of minutes. Stir and turn the pieces so they roast evenly on all sides. Remove the chicken from the pan and set aside. Add the onion slices to the pan and roast them until translucent and fragrant. Add the arugula and roast until the arugula is warm and soft. Season with chili, ginger, and cinnamon. Mix chicken, arugula, onions, and cherry tomatoes in a bowl, add salt and chili to taste, then serve and enjoy.

Which fabulous dish have you eaten lately?

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